“I don’t know if our marriage can make it,” Jocey* told her pastor. “Rex often loses his cool with our daughter. He’s constantly disrepectful to me.” “I’m so sorry,” Pastor Ammons replied. “This is so painful.” After taking … Continued
As I headed to our leadership meeting, my stomach tightened. Hmm, this was becoming the new normal. What would Jackie do today? Shoot down someone’s idea? Complain about being mistreated? Criticize the pastor for doing or not doing something? … Continued
When conflict becomes toxic, it’s usually because it hasn’t been addressed promptly but has been buried and then, as pressure builtds up, it erupts. In Parts 1 and 2 of this blog we have looked at five consequences of … Continued
Many us of don’t like conflict (I don’t) and sometimes go to great lengths to avoid dealing with it. Sweeping conflict under the rug can turn tiny issues into big ones and rob us of opportunities to learn and … Continued
“Relational conflict is what the Bible calls sin,” reads a discipling manual our consulting team came across at one church. That’s pretty clear, isn’t it? But there’s a basic problem with this statement: It’s wrong. While sin does, of … Continued
I’ve been blessed with many good bosses over the years, but “Jerry” didn’t make the list. In fact, he wins the prize for worst boss. Jerry was a homebuilder and I worked for him as a carpenter’s helper. … Continued
by Michael Hare, Guest Writer The ushers moved with near military precision as they distributed the communion elements in the large church I was visiting. Then I saw one usher break formation and walk over to whisper in the ear … Continued
“What do you think are the chances that Pastor Greg* will be able to continue as pastor of this church?” I asked Alex, the elder chair. Alex was the most respected spiritual leader in the church and fully committed to … Continued
Nothing reveals my character more clearly than how I respond to insults, threats, or attacks. Most people return insults for insults, threats for threats, attacks for attacks. Jesus commands a radically counterintuitive response: “Love your enemies.” It sounds impossible: … Continued
Is your conflict a deadly threat or a doorway to breakthrough? Our small group was off to an amazing start. Few of the members had ever experienced the level of heart sharing we were enjoying. And our excitement wasn’t … Continued