“I don’t know if our marriage can make it,” Jocey* told her pastor. “Rex often loses his cool with our daughter. He’s constantly disrepectful to me.” “I’m so sorry,” Pastor Ammons replied. “This is so painful.” After taking … Continued
In the late ‘90s, the HMO Kaiser Permanente and the Centers for Disease Control teamed up for a huge study called the Adverse Childhood Experiences study (ACEs)* to explore how childhood trauma impacts people’s health as adults. The survey … Continued
As I headed to our leadership meeting, my stomach tightened. Hmm, this was becoming the new normal. What would Jackie do today? Shoot down someone’s idea? Complain about being mistreated? Criticize the pastor for doing or not doing something? … Continued
Pastor Paul appreciatively accepted the gift of the communion chalice and tucked it into his backpack for safekeeping. When he later opened his backpack, he found shattered shards of pottery. He glued the chalice back together and, despite its visible … Continued
Guest blog by Steven Earp My friend and fellow pastor Steven Earp kindly gave me permission to share these reflections he posted on FaceBook about caring for his wife Chrysty. Even with her health challenges, my precious bride and I … Continued
When conflict becomes toxic, it’s usually because it hasn’t been addressed promptly but has been buried and then, as pressure builtds up, it erupts. In Parts 1 and 2 of this blog we have looked at five consequences of … Continued
Many us of don’t like conflict (I don’t) and sometimes go to great lengths to avoid dealing with it. Sweeping conflict under the rug can turn tiny issues into big ones and rob us of opportunities to learn and … Continued
“Relational conflict is what the Bible calls sin,” reads a discipling manual our consulting team came across at one church. That’s pretty clear, isn’t it? But there’s a basic problem with this statement: It’s wrong. While sin does, of … Continued
Sometimes I get frustrated with people I shepherd. I sometimes get frustrated when people are complacent about their sin that is destroying them and hurting the people they love. I sometimes get frustrated when people get stuck—when they lose … Continued
Roy* is a Pied Piper to college-age guys who’ve never had a strong, healthy man in their lives. They feel safe with him. But he also shoots straight, telling them what they need to hear even when it’s hard. … Continued